So, he died. And the Internet from 15 years ago is devastated. All those Chuck Norris jokes are coming back.
But, that’s about all we knew about him. Because we didn’t care to even look further. Chuck was just another MAGA idiot, brainwashed with brain rot like the rest of them. He was convinced that the FBI and Obama were going to come to his Texas ranch and take it all, including all his guns.
He was an outspoken Christian -which in and of itself doesn’t make him a bad person – but he sure did love pushing that on others. And, made him considerably more susceptible to the MAGA cult bullshit because all they do is prey on Christian hate.
He, to the day of his death, love Regan. What a piece of shit. Both of them. Norris and Regan. Arguably the start of the decline of the middle class right there. He also wanted to bang Sarah Palin (but then again, half the world did, too – so I’ll let this one pass). He was outspoken for his hatred of the LGQBT+ community. He was a “birther” conspiracy theorist (believed Obama’s birth certificate was fake). He wrote an extensive piece on “Sharia law infiltrating the USA”.
He wrote personalized letters to the Boy Scouts of America urging them to reverse their decision to let gay men into the organization. Which, seems odd to me, seeing as so much of the Boy Scouts of America is rooted in molesting young boys, then sweeping it under the carpet like nothing happened. Definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the disproportionate amount of Republican men having secret Grindr accounts and whenever there’s a RNC Grinder reports a massive uptick in traffic directly from the city in which the conference is held. That, and Republicans & the Catholic church both love sweep child molestation cases under the rug, so this all tracks.
He’s only getting going, folks! He has a man-crush on Netanyahu, and has voiced endless support for that genocidal maniac. Norris has flip flopped his support between Republican candidates like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Ted Cruz, and Mike Huckabee – at times calling them ridiculous names, then walking that back and showing them support. Chuck obviously has taken a few too many blows to the cranium.
After a considerable string of school shootings, Chuck did what any humanitarian would do, and signed a massive advertising deal with Glock. He went on tour promoting their weapons after they were used to murder a bunch of school children. What a great guy – standing up for struggling businesses!
So ya. Cuck Norris was a complete piece of shit. The jokes were funny, but the funniest thing now is, that he’s fucking dead. Good riddance fuckface.