Local Jackass

Saudis : “Hey Trump, we know we can’t bribe you directly, so we’re going to bribe your son in law instead”

Trump : “Cool. Let’s do that”

**A Month passes and Kushnir’s scandals aren’t even remembered anymore**

Trump : “Hey guys, here’s this new crypto currency that is totally not a money laundering operation, you can totally buy this worthless shit and I get the money when you do”

Saudis : “Cool, here’s a shitload of money. Uh, got any other ideas?”

Trump : “Durrrrr I look directly at the sun”

Saudis : “That’s cool. Tell you what, do you like this plane. It could be yours”

Trump : “I’m going to call it Air Force Trump”

Also Trump : *Shits pants*

Saudis : “Don’t you think that’s a little on the nose”

Trump : “Want to come to the White House for McDonalds”

Saudis : “Uhh…. We’re a bit busy that day. So, listen, we were thinking of starting a nuclear weapons program and enriching uranium. That’s not going to be a problem, right”

Trump : “Saudi Arabia, one of our closest allies, truly great people. The best people, and I know people. They’re going to be doing nuclear weapons now. The best nuclear weapons. Not as good as ours, but really, and I know nuclear weapons. I know all the best nuclear weapons. Did you know. I can’t say it but I will. I could press the button any time I want and wipe countries off the face of the earth. I don’t. But I could. And you know. We were going to use it on the hurricanes. Those hurricanes. I call them the Democrat Hurricanes because they were caused by the democrats. Filthy people. If they were more like the Saudis, there wouldn’t be any hurricanes”

This is cool. Just another piece of corruption. That Taylor Farms (read: factory farms) which had that contaminated lettuce because they spray shit water on their fields, well, their CEO visited Trump at the WhiteHouse, donated to him, and then suddenly the USA is claiming this shit lettuce was a “false positive”.

The shit this fucking man gets away with on any random Monday would be enough to impeach literally any other president in history.

Every single accusation made by them is a confession. Pedophile ring? Republicans. Stealing elections, Republicans. Corruption at the highest level, Republicans.

They don’t need to be voted out, they all need to be fucking hung for high treason. And, they’re setting the stage for every other country in the world. Canada barely made it out alive, last time. Who fucking knows these days.

Oh wow. What is that? Those Flock cameras that everyone was warning us about aren’t just being used to track rapists and murders? Colour me not shocked in the least.

Nearly every expert ever told us that they would be used beyond the confines of the law to track our every move. Innocent people. And, there’s thousands of examples of this happening. Turns out it’s not the conspiracy that all these ignorant people claimed it was. Turns out those Billionaires lied to us. Again.

So, while we’re on the topic of conspiracies that are totally fucking true, let’s talk about women’s rights, more specifically period tracker apps. When a woman has irregularities in her period it can trigger that she’s pregnant. But, she doesn’t want anyone to know. Except, now big brother knows. And, that data is correlated back to her identity because of course it is – because these apps, even if you don’t use your real email address, or name, or other info, still sends your personal info back to the app developer (And god only knows who else), which can be sold.

Things like your Google Play or Apple ID identify you, even if you sign up with bullshit. Then, they’ve got you. Look, Jane is preggos. Better track her to see if she leaves the state to get an abortion because we outlawed that in her home state. And, just like that they type your licence plate into a system and get all the hits of when it crossed paths with a Flock Camera.

And, wouldn’t you know it, there’s a Flock Camera positioned outside of every Planned Parenthood and doctors office, carpet bombed across every city, and at every highway on and off ramp. You’re tracked. Every single place you go.

Don’t believe me? Read the article below from the ACLU.

Flock’s Aggressive Expansions Go Far Beyond Simple Driver Surveillance

This shit is criminal. It’s a complete and gross invasion into our privacy. Don’t worry, Billionaires are being paid literally billions of dollars of YOUR money to do this to you. How? It’s municipalities which pay to have these cameras installed. That money comes from your taxes. You’re paying, bitch. And, when someone cuts one of these things down (as they should), you’re paying to have it replaced.

Congratulations, you’ve sold your privacy, yet again.

• Lauren D’Hondt, 2026

Donald Trump’s “Truth Social” (Ya, I know, fucking hilarious), just released their latest “service”. It’s called “Truth API”. So, what does it do? Well, for a hefty fee, you can buy “access” to the 10 most influential people on the platform and see their “truths” before anyone else. There’s no exact timeline, but effectively you would be able to get information before the general public.

Seeing as Trump’s “Truths” almost always move global markets, you can then hedge bets before the general public does on which way the market will go based on his bullshit.

There ya go. He’s literally selling insider trading access.

And you know what’s going to be done about it? Absolutely fucking nothing. Once again, hard right politics just break all the rules with impunity while left wing parties just sit there and pen condolence letters for dead hard right pieces of shit that break all the rules. Seriously. It’s absolutely fucking baffling.

Oh boo hoo. Lindsey Graham is dead. Fucking good. Let that piece of shit rot and turn into compost – something that’s actually useful for this world.

As for all those motherfuckers who are suddenly sending condolences? Fuck you too. The man voted (and succeeded) in stripping basic human rights from people of colour, the LGQBT+ community, immigrants, and basically anyone who wasn’t a white christian nationalist. In other words, Lindsey Graham was a fucking Nazi.

Here’s some of Lindsey’s highlights.
“Level the place” – In regards to Palestine.
“I’ll take a DNA test. I mean, I may be Iranian. That would be terrible. It would be a defect.”
“If you’re a young African American, an immigrant, you can go anywhere in this state, you just need to be conservative, not liberal.”
“I care about everybody. I don’t care if you’re Black, white, gay or straight, as long as you stay in your place.”

And, there’s the classic…
“You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell… He’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot.” Except the whole part where he started sucking Trump’s dick only a year later. Figuratively, not literally. Although, I’m sure he actually wanted to. You see, Graham was secretly gay. Consistently hiring young male prostitutes under the name “Lady G”, then walking into the Senate to vote down basic human rights for the same people he was just fucking. Don’t worry, he hated women, too.

You spineless pieces of shit. Did you see Winston Churchill, Harry S. Truman, William Lyon Mackenzie King, and Charles de Gaulle sending their thoughts and prayers to the Hitler family, all while saying “You know, Adolf and I disagreed on a lot of things. But at the end of the day, even though he was my opponent, he was a good man”. Not even Stalin took the time to pop out his rotary phone and record a TikTok video.

You think even one Republican would send their condolences if a democrat died? They’d be on TV as quick as humanly possible telling the world they were a terrible person. Trump would post more vile shit on twitter about how they “Were a failure, and obviously failed at living too. Very suiting. Thank you for your attention on this matter”

You fucking vile two faced cowards. How dare you fucking defend this dead sack of shit. Hunter Biden, Korey Booker – I’m looking in your direction. What a fucking disgrace.

Have you ever wondered what Tinder would be like if it was almost exclusively populated with people who didn’t pass high school and never left their hometown once in their life?

Now you can. Facebook Dating : Ontario Edition!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/620790005562955