Category: Pure Greed

https://www.dougfordclownshow.ca

That fat fuck just needs to die.

• $5 footlongs
• Video game demos in stores
• Cereal with toys inside
• Friday night trips to Blockbuster video
• Radioshack
• Pizza Hut buffet
• MuchMusic actually playing music videos
• $0.25 wing night
• Privacy

So, basically there’s this app called Stava which maps your runs. Some dude on a French aircraft carrier decided to go for a jog on the deck, and it more or less mapped his run. In the middle of the ocean.

But, what’s most concerning here is that a journalist was able to uncover this. Publicly.

Now, this really isn’t a matter of national security as let’s be honest, all major military powers worldwide have adversary ships tracked down to the inch across the world at any given time. But, what about the average person. You know.. that cute girl down the street? Who goes for a run past your house all the time? Who you start to stalk on the Strava app, without her knowing? And now you know whenever she’s out and about and what she’s doing? Yup. Nothing creepy about that.

Protect your privacy people. Block these bullshit apps. Stop relying on these “free” features so you can play some bullshit exercise game where you compare your runs with your friends. It’s not worth it, because somehow, someway, all of these companies get cracked – someone finds a loophole to extract your data. And if it’s not hackers across the Internet, it’s the company themselves doing nefarious shit with your personal data, selling it to god-only-knows-who, but most certainly your insurance company.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Shut this shit down. This is ruining the world.

Remember when every tech bro was pushing the Metaverse as the next big thing? Only, it totally fucking sucked, so nobody used it? Because it required a VR headset nobody could afford, and further, nobody wanted to use?

That didn’t stop Facebook (Meta) from selling a shitload of “property” within it’s fake virtual world. People dumped millions into it to stake their claim, but that’s all going away now. Meta will be shutting it down in less than 2 weeks. Any money you’ll spent there will disappear. Remember, you don’t own it, you’re just “leasing” it.

But, that must have cost a lot of money to build, right? You’d be correct. In fact, it cost Meta $80,000,000,000.00 to do so. Yes, that’s right, $80 BILLION dollars to build some bullshit virtual world that they’re going to kill off entirely.

Any guesses what $80 Billion could have done for good in this world?

Fuck it. Zuck needs another doomsday bunker in New Zealand. What a complete piece of shit he is.

Mark my words, within the next 2-3 years you’re going to see ads in places you never thought you’d see them, or even expect them.

Reading a digital book on your Kindle, or Fire eBook reader? In the middle of the story you’re going to see a carefully placed ad which ties right into the story. The protagonist in the story will be hauling dirt with a wheelbarrow, and it’ll conveniently tell you that wheelbarrows are on sale for $79.95 at HomeDepot until the end of the week.

You’ve escaped to the countryside to enjoy the peacefulness. You look up at the night sky and something seems off. Is that an advertisement for an online casino? Yup. There’s research being done right now for LEO (low earth orbit) satellites to be outfitted with lights which will be coordinated to create images in the night sky. It’ll just be like the northern lights, only way shittier.

Drifting off to sleep, you’re counting sheep. Why not count the savings you could be enjoying with $2 off Tide Coldwater pods! The lovely people at MIT are working on “Targeted Dream Incubation” where they are using different sensory cues to trigger thoughts in a brain. You’ll wake up wondering if your clothes are getting the “clean” they need.

Computers? Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, just wait! Windows is already jamming ads into your start menu and desktop. Why not other places, too? Do you seriously think all these datacenters are just being built for AI use? No. It’s a massive push to cloud computing. Building a computer which you own the hardware and operating system are going to be a thing of the past. You’ll have a computer which is “always online”. Nothing stored locally on your machine, as it’ll be little more than a gateway device where all of your tasks, processing, and files are stored on cloud computing. Of course, there will be a monthly service fee for this depending on how much you use. Don’t worry, they’ll own all of your data and you’re just “leasing” it from them. It’ll be scraped, analyzed and used to feed you more targeted ads. Want to stop paying? Lose access to all of your data forever.

AI is only in it’s infancy right now. We’re just getting acclimated to it. Once it becomes commonplace and the world relies on it for nearly every interaction, it’ll go to pure shit (you think it’s bad now, just wait). Remember when Facebook was actually good? When you could plan events, share photos, talk to others, and have fun discussions? Now it’s just endless pages of ads, “sponsored” posts, and “recommended for you” posts? It’s unusable. AI will be the same. In the replies you get from ChatGPT you’re going to see product placements, ads, hot tips, and things of the like. Will you even be able to trust it?

You’re at the store trying on a new outfit. Naturally you step in front of the mirror. But what if that mirror looks back at you. What if it analyzes your body and determines “this peasant needs to lose 20 lbs!”. Maybe it projects an image back which makes you look just a little fatter than you actually are. Maybe you’re a man under 5’9″, so the image you see coming back at you makes you just a little shorter than you actually are. You know, just play with your subconscious a little bit. Now cameras are tracking your every move throughout the store. You suddenly see an advertisement for weight loss pills, or shoe lifts. Woah, what are the chances! Right when you’re feeling insecure about your body thanks to that exact insecurity being planted into your brain from a mirror, you are presented with the miracle fix! Just tap your credit card on the reader and it’ll be at your doorstep by the time you get home!

You’re going to see some of this within the next 2-3 years. It’s already being developed, and as soon as they have a viable way to push it upon you, it’ll be done. Everyone is trying to be first to market with a new way to push ads onto you, and you best believe once it’s half baked enough, you’re going to see it.

Welcome to the future, you poor bastard!

Hey, who remembers NFTs. What a fabulous idea that was. What have you got to show for it? A couple GIFs of a monkey? Nice. Your retirement is looking swell.

At what point do you realize this was all one big grift and you all got taken for your cash?

$887 MILLION. This could :

• Purchase 1000 electric busses, instantly refreshing the fleet of 2-3 major cities
• Plant 450 Million trees
• Buy approximately 9 x F-35 fighter jets
• Build an entire NFL Football standium
• Completely pay for the training & residency of 2000 new surgeons
• Fund 200 community mental health clinics for an entire year fully staffed
• Build, construct, and bring to full operation 25 state of the art high schools
• Completely wipe out the entire backlog of repairs of social housing across Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal

Nope. David Zaslav needs it. His kids are starving. Won’t someone think of the children!?