Tag: Greed

https://www.dougfordclownshow.ca

That fat fuck just needs to die.

• $5 footlongs
• Video game demos in stores
• Cereal with toys inside
• Friday night trips to Blockbuster video
• Radioshack
• Pizza Hut buffet
• MuchMusic actually playing music videos
• $0.25 wing night
• Privacy

So, he died. And the Internet from 15 years ago is devastated. All those Chuck Norris jokes are coming back.

But, that’s about all we knew about him. Because we didn’t care to even look further. Chuck was just another MAGA idiot, brainwashed with brain rot like the rest of them. He was convinced that the FBI and Obama were going to come to his Texas ranch and take it all, including all his guns.

He was an outspoken Christian -which in and of itself doesn’t make him a bad person – but he sure did love pushing that on others. And, made him considerably more susceptible to the MAGA cult bullshit because all they do is prey on Christian hate.

He, to the day of his death, love Regan. What a piece of shit. Both of them. Norris and Regan. Arguably the start of the decline of the middle class right there. He also wanted to bang Sarah Palin (but then again, half the world did, too – so I’ll let this one pass). He was outspoken for his hatred of the LGQBT+ community. He was a “birther” conspiracy theorist (believed Obama’s birth certificate was fake). He wrote an extensive piece on “Sharia law infiltrating the USA”.

He wrote personalized letters to the Boy Scouts of America urging them to reverse their decision to let gay men into the organization. Which, seems odd to me, seeing as so much of the Boy Scouts of America is rooted in molesting young boys, then sweeping it under the carpet like nothing happened. Definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the disproportionate amount of Republican men having secret Grindr accounts and whenever there’s a RNC Grinder reports a massive uptick in traffic directly from the city in which the conference is held. That, and Republicans & the Catholic church both love sweep child molestation cases under the rug, so this all tracks.

He’s only getting going, folks! He has a man-crush on Netanyahu, and has voiced endless support for that genocidal maniac. Norris has flip flopped his support between Republican candidates like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Ted Cruz, and Mike Huckabee – at times calling them ridiculous names, then walking that back and showing them support. Chuck obviously has taken a few too many blows to the cranium.

After a considerable string of school shootings, Chuck did what any humanitarian would do, and signed a massive advertising deal with Glock. He went on tour promoting their weapons after they were used to murder a bunch of school children. What a great guy – standing up for struggling businesses!

So ya. Cuck Norris was a complete piece of shit. The jokes were funny, but the funniest thing now is, that he’s fucking dead. Good riddance fuckface.

So, basically there’s this app called Stava which maps your runs. Some dude on a French aircraft carrier decided to go for a jog on the deck, and it more or less mapped his run. In the middle of the ocean.

But, what’s most concerning here is that a journalist was able to uncover this. Publicly.

Now, this really isn’t a matter of national security as let’s be honest, all major military powers worldwide have adversary ships tracked down to the inch across the world at any given time. But, what about the average person. You know.. that cute girl down the street? Who goes for a run past your house all the time? Who you start to stalk on the Strava app, without her knowing? And now you know whenever she’s out and about and what she’s doing? Yup. Nothing creepy about that.

Protect your privacy people. Block these bullshit apps. Stop relying on these “free” features so you can play some bullshit exercise game where you compare your runs with your friends. It’s not worth it, because somehow, someway, all of these companies get cracked – someone finds a loophole to extract your data. And if it’s not hackers across the Internet, it’s the company themselves doing nefarious shit with your personal data, selling it to god-only-knows-who, but most certainly your insurance company.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Shut this shit down. This is ruining the world.

Remember when every tech bro was pushing the Metaverse as the next big thing? Only, it totally fucking sucked, so nobody used it? Because it required a VR headset nobody could afford, and further, nobody wanted to use?

That didn’t stop Facebook (Meta) from selling a shitload of “property” within it’s fake virtual world. People dumped millions into it to stake their claim, but that’s all going away now. Meta will be shutting it down in less than 2 weeks. Any money you’ll spent there will disappear. Remember, you don’t own it, you’re just “leasing” it.

But, that must have cost a lot of money to build, right? You’d be correct. In fact, it cost Meta $80,000,000,000.00 to do so. Yes, that’s right, $80 BILLION dollars to build some bullshit virtual world that they’re going to kill off entirely.

Any guesses what $80 Billion could have done for good in this world?

Fuck it. Zuck needs another doomsday bunker in New Zealand. What a complete piece of shit he is.

Mark my words, within the next 2-3 years you’re going to see ads in places you never thought you’d see them, or even expect them.

Reading a digital book on your Kindle, or Fire eBook reader? In the middle of the story you’re going to see a carefully placed ad which ties right into the story. The protagonist in the story will be hauling dirt with a wheelbarrow, and it’ll conveniently tell you that wheelbarrows are on sale for $79.95 at HomeDepot until the end of the week.

You’ve escaped to the countryside to enjoy the peacefulness. You look up at the night sky and something seems off. Is that an advertisement for an online casino? Yup. There’s research being done right now for LEO (low earth orbit) satellites to be outfitted with lights which will be coordinated to create images in the night sky. It’ll just be like the northern lights, only way shittier.

Drifting off to sleep, you’re counting sheep. Why not count the savings you could be enjoying with $2 off Tide Coldwater pods! The lovely people at MIT are working on “Targeted Dream Incubation” where they are using different sensory cues to trigger thoughts in a brain. You’ll wake up wondering if your clothes are getting the “clean” they need.

Computers? Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, just wait! Windows is already jamming ads into your start menu and desktop. Why not other places, too? Do you seriously think all these datacenters are just being built for AI use? No. It’s a massive push to cloud computing. Building a computer which you own the hardware and operating system are going to be a thing of the past. You’ll have a computer which is “always online”. Nothing stored locally on your machine, as it’ll be little more than a gateway device where all of your tasks, processing, and files are stored on cloud computing. Of course, there will be a monthly service fee for this depending on how much you use. Don’t worry, they’ll own all of your data and you’re just “leasing” it from them. It’ll be scraped, analyzed and used to feed you more targeted ads. Want to stop paying? Lose access to all of your data forever.

AI is only in it’s infancy right now. We’re just getting acclimated to it. Once it becomes commonplace and the world relies on it for nearly every interaction, it’ll go to pure shit (you think it’s bad now, just wait). Remember when Facebook was actually good? When you could plan events, share photos, talk to others, and have fun discussions? Now it’s just endless pages of ads, “sponsored” posts, and “recommended for you” posts? It’s unusable. AI will be the same. In the replies you get from ChatGPT you’re going to see product placements, ads, hot tips, and things of the like. Will you even be able to trust it?

You’re at the store trying on a new outfit. Naturally you step in front of the mirror. But what if that mirror looks back at you. What if it analyzes your body and determines “this peasant needs to lose 20 lbs!”. Maybe it projects an image back which makes you look just a little fatter than you actually are. Maybe you’re a man under 5’9″, so the image you see coming back at you makes you just a little shorter than you actually are. You know, just play with your subconscious a little bit. Now cameras are tracking your every move throughout the store. You suddenly see an advertisement for weight loss pills, or shoe lifts. Woah, what are the chances! Right when you’re feeling insecure about your body thanks to that exact insecurity being planted into your brain from a mirror, you are presented with the miracle fix! Just tap your credit card on the reader and it’ll be at your doorstep by the time you get home!

You’re going to see some of this within the next 2-3 years. It’s already being developed, and as soon as they have a viable way to push it upon you, it’ll be done. Everyone is trying to be first to market with a new way to push ads onto you, and you best believe once it’s half baked enough, you’re going to see it.

Welcome to the future, you poor bastard!

If you’re not caught up to speed, remember Afroman? The guy who made that track “Because I Got High”? Well, cut to the chase, a bunch of officers raided his house and found absolutely nothing illegal inside. While they were there, they stole a bunch of cash and ate some of his cake off his counter.

How do we know this? Afroman had security cameras all over his house. He then took the footage from the security cameras and made a music video about it all.

But get this. Then the sheriff’s office sued him saying he couldn’t use his own security footage and point out that they were corrupt, and the fact he pointed out they stole money and cake from him has caused them “irreparable harm to their reputation”.

Suddenly “law enforcement” is “feelings enforcement”. It ain’t a crime to hurt your feelings, bitch. Ain’t it amazing how you have absolutely no remorse for violating people’s human rights but the moment someone uses their own personal security camera footage that makes you look like an absolutely fucking idiot (because you are), suddenly you’re this fragile little snowflake who needs to be wrapped in a warm blanket and sung a nappy time song.

$887 MILLION. This could :

• Purchase 1000 electric busses, instantly refreshing the fleet of 2-3 major cities
• Plant 450 Million trees
• Buy approximately 9 x F-35 fighter jets
• Build an entire NFL Football standium
• Completely pay for the training & residency of 2000 new surgeons
• Fund 200 community mental health clinics for an entire year fully staffed
• Build, construct, and bring to full operation 25 state of the art high schools
• Completely wipe out the entire backlog of repairs of social housing across Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal

Nope. David Zaslav needs it. His kids are starving. Won’t someone think of the children!?

How could the Oscars snub such an American Hero after her groundbreaking performance over the past 6 months? Day after day she’s had to take the stage. When will the tears run out? Despite the best efforts of some, fireworks, sparklers, and countless pledge drives, she just couldn’t even get a nomination.

Clearly the snub of the century, I tell ya.