Carney On Top

“‘Sometimes I find Canadians don’t actually realize how good they have it” said IMF’s Western Hemisphere Department head.

How fucking true that is.

That’s right. Canada is literally at the top of the G7 when it comes to financial strength at the moment. Carney is currently spending heavily in defence and infrastructure, while at the same time has actually cut taxes. You hear that, you morons? He’s cutting fucking taxes, building shit, and making us less reliable on our batshit insane brother to the south to stick up for us on the world stage, both financially and militarily.

None of the mouth breathers will understand this, but Canada’s debt to GDP is 43%. Most of the rest of the G7 is nearing 100% at the moment. Do you understand how fucking good that is? Yes, it’s not where we WANT to be, but compared to everyone else, we’re at the top. Can you understand this isn’t a Canada problem? This is a global issue. And, we’re doing better than everyone else. Just because it’s not what YOU want, doesn’t mean that it’s not a fucking cake-walk compared to others. Perhaps it’s time you travelled somewhere other than an all-inclusive resort in a country who’s entire existence relies on culture-less white people asking for chicken fingers and complaining because they don’t have Molson Canadian on draft half half way across the world. Who am I kidding, these people wouldn’t fly for more than 4 hours.

Anyways, isn’t it wild what happens when you elect a guy who doesn’t just understand global economics, but actually worked in it for fucking decades? You’re all making up these conspiracy theories about the New World Order, and how the World Bank or whatever controls everything, yet your knowledge of international relations peaked in grade 2.

What’s the word from Pierre Milhouse these days? Complaining about gas prices? Maybe he’s forgetting that we’re selling gas on sale right now. He’s crying “Carney is badly educated in economics”. This is satire, right? You literally have the guy who saved the UK from financial collapse, who has served on governments of both Liberal and Conservative leadership in serious financial roles? The guy who graduated both Harvard and Oxford for finance. And then there’s this dweeb who got lasik and hired a personal trainer, but has nothing to show for himself that he’s literally ever done in his life besides qualifying for a full government pension since he was 31 years old? This is your guy? This is your god? This is your entire personality? That’s sad. You’re sad. Really. You are.

Perhaps that’s why so many Conservative MPs are crossing the floor to the Liberals. And, wouldn’t you know it, if you look back in history, there’s a long list of conservatives crossing the floor to be Liberals.

  • 1867-1872 : 9 Conservative MPs cross to join Sir John A. Mcdonald’s Liberals.
  • 1993-2003 – 8 Conservative MPs crossed to the Cretien Liberals.
  • 2025-2026 – 5 Conservative MPs have crossed to the Carney Liberals

But, what about Liberals crossing to be Conservatives? Glad you asked. From 1917-1921 a total of 16 Liberals crossed to run as Unionists (basically Conservatives) during the conscription crisis. This was the sole reason, effectively. Sir Wilfred Laurier (Liberal leader at the time) opposed conscription, however the majority of the country felt as though this would be needed to help win the war. They also believed we owed a moral obligation to provide troops.

We had already suffered major losses in Vimy Ridge and Passchendaele and after a visit to Europe, PM Robert Borden insisted that the Canadian armies would be wiped out and collapse unless help was sent. The country stepped up, and Liberal MPs crossed to allow this to happen.

Perhaps this time it’s the Conservatives crossing to ensure the country stays afloat during one of the most desperate times of our modern era.

Definitely Not A Cult

When you’re a Christian Conservative, and you demand that the pope steps down because he’s too Liberal, because your orange god told you so, right before posting a picture of himself as god.

Definitely none of that “thou shall not take thy lord’s name in vain” or “thou shalt not have any gods before me”, or any of that shit. Not that I believe in this bullshit, but damn – when you’re so confused yourself you just do whatever the orange man says.

Definitely not a cult.

I Was Worried Racism Was Dead

Thank goodness Zuckerberg’s Facebook and Musk’s “X” is bringing it back. I couldn’t think of two other tech bros who love racism more than those fucks. Of course, “relearn.org” is little more than thinly veiled white christian nationalism. The Catholic Church is little more than a racist terrorist organization at this point.

Don’t believe me? Then why isn’t the church denouncing all of these organizations? They couldn’t give fuck as long as people keep giving them money.

Fugazi Patriots

All those “patriots”, the “my charter of rights is being infringed upon” crowd. The ones who are living the dream yet think they’re somehow oppressed. The ones who couldn’t pass a grade 6 math or science test. The ones who bitch about a 2% tax increase when inflation has gone up 20% since the last one. The kinds of people who would line up for a $20 bill handed to them by a politician, but never for a fucking second stop to think about where that politician is getting all that money from.

Ya, you. Listen the fuck up.

This is a beer ad, from March 2000. If you’re over 35 years old, you absolutely remember it. The thing was as viral as anything could be 26 years ago. Remember absolutely fucking loving this commercial? Saying “fuck ya”? Well.. listen to it again… JOSH

“I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing.
Diversity, not assimilation.”

You sure loved true Canadian values back then, so why is it that you fight against those same values today? You claim you’re fighting for the country, but what you’re really fighting for is to keep your upper hand on society. When you realized that others were possibly getting the same privileges you already enjoy, you felt threatened. Your “way of life” was imposed upon. So much for diversity, not assimilation, eh….. STACEY

When the entire fucking world is deeply worried for our (currently very) shitty neighbours to the south, and Americans are being shunned everywhere they go, why is it that you want to adopt the policies that put them there? Have you ever heard of the lore that if a Canadian visits Europe and has a small Canadian flag on their backpack, they’re typically loved? Do you know why? Any clue?

We were the ones that helped save Europe, and simply said “we are doing what’s best for the world, no thanks required”. We were the ones that made Vimy Ridge (1917) and The Last Hundred Days (1918) possible. We broke through. We were there in Dieppe (1942) as the first to truly test the resistance and took insane losses all so D-Day could actually be a success. And we were at D-Day. We took Juno Beach and pushed inland further than any other offensive. We did this, and we never fucking asked for a thing. We knew we were saving the world. So, why is it that you suddenly don’t give a rats ass about the rest of the world, and cry when literally $80 of the many thousands of dollars you pay a year in taxes is used to help Europe fight off the fucking Russians… Tell me that, GREG, you fucking loser who thinks he’s tough because he’s shot a few guns and wears para-cord on his wrist.

You’ve never even sniffed war, and if you did, you’d shit those pants of yours just like so many of the rest of us would. You’re just way too self involved to take a second to think about what it’s _actually_ like for innocent people being mascaraed. What if that was your best friend who went to the hospital for a broken thumb, but then got killed by a bomb that got dropped on a fucking hospital? Would you be upset then? What if that was your brother, who was minding his own fucking business standing in his kitchen making dinner when a fucking Russian Iskander ballistic missile blew up his apartment complex and murdered him along with a shitload of his neighbours, too? Would you care then? What if it was your wife and teenage daughter who were at home when the IDF kicked in the door and raped them both at gunpoint, then murdered them? Would you care then? Would you be upset… Eh? CAROL?

The biggest problem Canada is facing is a bunch of fugazi “patriots”.