Local Jackass

Stop for a second and think. When you see children today, are they typically on a tablet or phone, endlessly scrolling, or watching some bullshit they’re so locked in on that the moment you remove it from their hands they immediately have a full blow meltdown? How many are just being children, enjoying life, playing, learning, moving, and interacting with others? Very few.

McDonalds is the perfect example. This is the “Play Place” I remember as a child. And, when McDonalds wasn’t enough, I would BEG my parents to take me to this one sporting goods store that had an absolutely massive jungle gym 10x the side of what you see here. I’d be in there for hours, making friends, playing tag, developing motor skills, and keeping active.

And, I had access to technology – something a lot of kids my age didn’t have. There wasn’t just a computer in the house (which was rare at the time), but multiple computers. I may have even had one in my room at that time! But, my time on a computer was limited, because I was more interested in digging holes in the garden, or playing road hockey, or being out with my friends. I came home with scraped knees, and the occasional chipped tooth.

My front tooth is still chipped, repaired, and if you look hard enough, can still see the crack. Oh well.

And now? God forbid kids ride their bikes on the road, or are out running through people’s backyards. We placate these little minds with ads, propaganda, and addictive games. McDonalds just perpetuates this problem with stuffing a couple shitty tablets on a wall.

We’re fucked.

Isn’t it wild that all the “Proud Boys” and “Patriot Front” dudes always end up wearing masks and dark glasses?

For being so proud, they sure want to hide away. If you’re standing up for what you sincerely in your heart believe is right, then why are you hiding? Are you not… proud?

Also, it’s kind of ironic that we haven’t seen any of these white supremacist rallies since ICE ramped up their workforce. Yet, oddly ICE has backed off lately, and now suddenly we’re seeing more of these Faux-Klux-Klan rallies.

Same shit goes for social media. Now that Facebook is allowing “anonymous” commenting, the real racist vitriol is flying. For a parasitic corporation that is so fucking adamant that they know who you are, suddenly they’re letting people be anonymous? Why? So they can post vile shit and stir the pot. After all, we know that’s what keeps people engaged, and on their nearly dead platform, so they can push more divisive advertising at you, some dick pills, and other such products which will solve all of your deep rooted personal insecurities they’ve determined through their gross invasion of your privacy.

Facebook is going to turn into 4Chan soon enough.

Some good news. The guy who built Fortnite, a video game I know absolutely nothing about, but apparently is all the rage among the Gen Z crowd, and obviously is rich as fuck, decided not to be a human piece of shit. Isn’t that incredible?

Instead of becoming some tech-bro-shit-stain, he spent about $200,000,000 to buy up 50,000 acres of wilderness in North Carolina and then hired a fucking army of lawyers to protect the land from ever being logged or developed.

The man’s name is Tim Sweeney.

She’s a trash human.

Yup. She just puts on a front to sell records and put asses in seats to impressionable young girls. Don’t even try and justify her bullshit with “oh, she donates so much”. You know who else donates a ton of money? Jeff Bezos.

She got married yesterday. Who fucking cares. But, the guest list for her wedding is interesting. Apparently Blake Lively wasn’t invited because “her presence wouldn’t let Taylor have peace”. OK, fine, it’s her wedding, she can invite or not invite whomever she wants, right? Then can she explain why Steven J. Demetriou was in attendance?

Let me guess, you don’t know who Steven J. Demetriou is. He owns the company that runs multiple ICE detention centres. Is having a fascist at her wedding bringing her “peace”? Taylor? What do you have to say about that?

Nothing. Of course nothing.

Fucking two faced cunt.

Except when it affects her.

Have a fucking backbone.

This world cup stuff is disgusting. It’s one of the most corrupt organizations in the world and is directly linked to slave labour, crimes against humanity, and absolutely inhumane treatment of the most vulnerable. Hundreds of billions of dollars are being spent on this shit, some of which is being spent to hide the homeless and poverty away from the world.

Remember that time Brazil evicted 170,000 people from their slums just so they bulldoze it all to build some massive stadium, all while brutalizing and murdering a ton of the most vulnerable? Then erected huge walls so people couldn’t see the slums right beside that multi-billion dollar stadium they erected? Or how they have taken endless bribes from countries like Qatar and Saudi Arabia (who are definitely known for their ethical treatment of their citizens)? Or sending the World Cup to Russia, a terrorist state? Nice one! We love this!

Then, on Canada Day, the streets were overrun with Portugal fans crying and fawning over Ronaldo? Why? What the fuck is wrong with these people? You’re crying over a guy who couldn’t give a rats ass about you, and actively employs multiple body guards to explicitly keep you as far away from him as possible. And you’re fawning over this piece of shit? Get a fucking grip on life and stop putting these false idols on pedestals. Ronaldo raped a woman in 2009 then paid her off $532,000 to shut up. How about that time he did a little tax evasion, then because he’s a rich prick, was able to skip his 2 year prison sentence, and just quietly paid his $31,000,000 fine. The guy is worth $2,000,000,000, and you think he’s some god? Don’t ever complain about the cost of housing, or groceries, or life when you idolize and cry over some rapist billionaire. It’s fucking sickening.

Do we want to talk about the time Ronaldo was pissed off so he grabbed a phone out of an autistic boy’s hands and smashed it as he was walking back to his locker room? Great dude! You’re idolizing a guy who gets paid $200m USD a year from the Saudis and acts as a spokesperson for their great country, completely glossing over the endless list of human rights violations. Cool! Let’s not forget about him shilling crypto and getting hit with a $1B lawsuit after he scammed a bunch of people with worthless NFTs.

Back to FIFA. Toronto was supposed to pay $380 MILLION dollars for this shit, but that’s never accurate. Turns out it was more like $1.06 Billion, which works out to be $82 Million/game played here. For what? Traffic from hell? The downtown core locked up for a month straight? All so you can celebrate corruption on the largest scale? Don’t even start to bitch about property taxes and spending money to care for those in poverty while you support this shit. Did I mention that the City of Toronto was forced to close warming centers for the homeless because FIFA demanded these spaces for their “operations” over the winter, but then never used them? Or, how they tried to ban empty water bottles so you were forced to pay $8 for some shitty bottled water that’s imported when we have one of the cleanest and most abundant sources of fresh water on the planet just a couple hundred meters away from the fucking stadium? You can’t even make this nonsense up.

Did you know that there’s been a 13 fold surge in online abuse and racist vitriol during this 2026 World Cup? And there’s absolutely no safeguards in place to stop it? No consequences? Nobody gives a single fuck about that? They’ve identified over 100 cases of racist shit so vile that it passes the threshold for hate crimes at a legal level, but chose not to do anything about it? Go FIFA!

FIFA didn’t pay a dime for any of this. YOU did. FIFA just said “we’re coming and our dick is so big and glorious you’re going to get on your knees and suck it”. And, like the good little consumers we are, we not only sucked them off to completion, but paid handsomely to do so.

So, when you’ve paid your $2000 for a nosebleed ticket to support this shit, don’t even start complaining about the cost of living. Or cry about a damn thing when it comes to your taxes. You’re a fucking hypocrite, and an ignorant one at that.

Giving people of colour, or the LGQBT+ community, or women, or whomever the right to marry, or vote, or have autonomy over their bodies isn’t privilege. It’s equal rights.

Privilege would be something like “gay people don’t need to pay taxes”.

Kind of like the Catholic Church doesn’t have to pay taxes.